Blah, I haven’t written

So, here I am. Not writing in 2 months. I don’t even know why I stopped writing. Lack of interest? Apathy? Depression? Who knows.

I do know one thing, though. I have found some happiness in making videos for YouTube. Now, before I go on, I want to put this out there: the videos I make aren’t “normal” videos. These are videos that I make while being silly, perverted, disgusting, etc. I do them to shock people. And in that, I find it funny. It makes me happy. I look like utter shit in these videos and yet guys will still tell me that I’m hot and beautiful. Which leads me to believe that guys will fuck anything, as long as there’s a hole in it.

Oh well. Anyway, I promise to write more often. I have so many thoughts in my head.

I can’t keep going on like this…

I can’t keep drudging on like nothing is ever wrong with me. I am sleeping more, and when I do wake, I am so tired and sleepy that chores feel like well, chores. I have to clean, do laundry, make sure that I have to stop over at the school for some stuff, etc. I just can’t muster up the energy to actually get up out of bed.

Now, there are two diagnoses that might fit in that:

The 1st is: I am depressed and cannot cope with my realities.

The 2nd is: I have an underlying health problem that causes such an energy drain.

The 3rd is: My overweight problem is what’s causing the zap in energy.

So, let’s break these down individually, shall we?

The depression angle: I’m at a point in my life where I am on the right medication for my medication. I do not physically nor mentally feel depressed. So, that rules out this angle.

The underlying health problem angle: I could have a plethora of things wrong with me, namely ‘Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.’ This in itself could explain everything. However, I have not researched enough to find if there’s any way to rectify that. There is also the sleep apnea problem. I have been tested for this and the test came back negative; so that is completely ruled out.

The overweight angle: Yes, I am overweight. Being overweight places an unnecessary drain on ones’ energy.

So, the only two things I am left with: Chronic fatigue syndrome and being overweight. However, here comes the kicker. I am so physically and mentally drained that I cannot even have the energy to motivate myself to start exercising. I have every intention to lose weight, I know it’s good for me. I want –no- I NEED to lose weight. However, when I try to prepare myself to actually exercise, I can’t even find enough energy to actually do it.

So, I have no idea. I want to do this. I need to do this. I am tired of feeling tired. I am tired of being energy depleted. I just want my old life back. I used to enjoy my life outside of the house. I used to go out every weekend to spend time with friends. I used to go to the movies all the time. I used to do lots of things I am too tired to these days.

Any suggestions?

*le sigh*

ImageI was playing some World of Warcraft last night. I happen to go pass Goldshire, which is always filled with perverts, guys who play girl toons to get with other guys, blah blah blah. So, there’s these 2 people playing bears. They’re literally saying what they’re doing in public. Like, “I’m cumming in your ass.” Gawd, buncha sexual deviants on that server. 😉

Rawr

I recently started playing World of Warcraft again. Out of sheer boredom. I’m actually really starting to enjoy it this time. Instead of being bored and not knowing what to do anymore, I actually read some game guides and now I’m having a super time! Here’s my level 51 pally.

Image

Blarg!

I don’t know what it is about the fall and winter time, but come every fall and winter, my interest in EverQuest and gaming in general seems to dwindle. It’s not like I get seasonal affective disorder and become depressed. I just don’t have any interest in gaming; well any interest in logging into EverQuest. When spring and summer rolls around, my interest picks up again. It happens every year and I have no idea why it happens.

Lately, I’ve been playing a lot of World of Warcraft. Not because I’m a big fan of it, but because it’s something different. It’s just hilarious sitting in one of the capital cities during late nights and listening to all the virgin nerds bust on each other. It reminds me of all the virgin middle school kids I’ve went to school with. Such nerds. 😉

Anyway, getting back to playing Warcraft.. I don’t have any high level toons. My highest is a level 46 paladin with all blue gear. Nothing special, but you know what? I don’t give a flying fuck. It’s giving me something to do until my interest in EverQuest comes back.

New Years Resolution

I decided to write more content for my blog, more often, in the new year. I’ve had this blog for so long and I haven’t been updating it often. I think the biggest reason why is because I had no motivation to write. But, life is short and I wanted to blog about my life once again.

So, for the new year, I plan on blogging at least once or twice a week (or more often if I have something interesting to say). Hopefully. 😉

New Recruit A Friend =)

So, EverQuest has decided to put in their “recruit a friend” thing back into their game. Which is great, I suppose. Here’s a link for anyone’s who’s interested (https://recruit.soe.com/recruit/smlanding.action?iId=IO7YMFINKU9PTQAZLLCA&gamecode=EQ). The rewards are kinda cool, but not as cool as they once were, so I’m not sure how well their revamped RAF is going to work. Oh well.. I’ll give it a try and see if I like it. *shrug*