Thank god or meds

A few months ago, I was put onto Ativan. Before that, I was on klonopin, which wasn’t helping as much anymore. However, on Ativan, I can actually feel like myself again. When I’m at the computer, I can actually enjoy my usual hobbies of gaming again. Before Ativan, I used to sit at the computer and just stare at the monitor thinking, “Why am I even here? Why do I even game anymore?” Now, it’s like.. OMGOMGOMG, I LOVE GAMING! It’s amazing how much Ativan has fixed my life. I mean, yeah, it has a high potential of abuse, but I haven’t abused it. So, meh.

Blah, I haven’t written

So, here I am. Not writing in 2 months. I don’t even know why I stopped writing. Lack of interest? Apathy? Depression? Who knows.

I do know one thing, though. I have found some happiness in making videos for YouTube. Now, before I go on, I want to put this out there: the videos I make aren’t “normal” videos. These are videos that I make while being silly, perverted, disgusting, etc. I do them to shock people. And in that, I find it funny. It makes me happy. I look like utter shit in these videos and yet guys will still tell me that I’m hot and beautiful. Which leads me to believe that guys will fuck anything, as long as there’s a hole in it.

Oh well. Anyway, I promise to write more often. I have so many thoughts in my head.