I can’t keep going on like this…

I can’t keep drudging on like nothing is ever wrong with me. I am sleeping more, and when I do wake, I am so tired and sleepy that chores feel like well, chores. I have to clean, do laundry, make sure that I have to stop over at the school for some stuff, etc. I just can’t muster up the energy to actually get up out of bed.

Now, there are two diagnoses that might fit in that:

The 1st is: I am depressed and cannot cope with my realities.

The 2nd is: I have an underlying health problem that causes such an energy drain.

The 3rd is: My overweight problem is what’s causing the zap in energy.

So, let’s break these down individually, shall we?

The depression angle: I’m at a point in my life where I am on the right medication for my medication. I do not physically nor mentally feel depressed. So, that rules out this angle.

The underlying health problem angle: I could have a plethora of things wrong with me, namely ‘Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.’ This in itself could explain everything. However, I have not researched enough to find if there’s any way to rectify that. There is also the sleep apnea problem. I have been tested for this and the test came back negative; so that is completely ruled out.

The overweight angle: Yes, I am overweight. Being overweight places an unnecessary drain on ones’ energy.

So, the only two things I am left with: Chronic fatigue syndrome and being overweight. However, here comes the kicker. I am so physically and mentally drained that I cannot even have the energy to motivate myself to start exercising. I have every intention to lose weight, I know it’s good for me. I want –no- I NEED to lose weight. However, when I try to prepare myself to actually exercise, I can’t even find enough energy to actually do it.

So, I have no idea. I want to do this. I need to do this. I am tired of feeling tired. I am tired of being energy depleted. I just want my old life back. I used to enjoy my life outside of the house. I used to go out every weekend to spend time with friends. I used to go to the movies all the time. I used to do lots of things I am too tired to these days.

Any suggestions?

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