Can you imagine that Jennifer Love Hewitt is only 11 months older than me and yet she can actually pass for 30. She was born in February 1979 and I was born in January ’80. And I can get away with saying that I’m around 20, instead of 27. What’s her excuse? Oh, I forgot. The sun causes 90% of wrinkles and ages your skin prematurely. I guess that’s why most women look older than they are, because they’re superficial. Pfft.
Don’t forget to change her diapers.